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'Ol Blue Eyes Introvert Gold.

8:58 a.m. I call Ol’ Blue Eyes to talk to him. He never answers the phone in the morning. NEVER! He’s either working out, building a fort with his kid or staring at the wall in a catatonic state recharging his dystopian power cells. It’s crazy, he’s my best friend but he’s also a stranger. A stranger in a strange land. I wanted to get some notes from him about last Saturday. Some thoughts. Nope.

Now I know why he thought he would be a good CIA agent. You should check out one of earliest episodes where he claims 1) he’s pretty good with nun-chuks and 2) he applied to the CIA. The only problem is that he would have to be one of those agents that just stares at photos in solitude or listens to other people’s conversations and take notes. There’s no way he could actually by like James Bond and go to parties, drink and socially interact with international criminals. It would kill him. He’d show up in a tuxedo with a martini and then just stare off into space for like 3 hours trying to think up a good way to introduce himself to Odd Job.


At 9:05 a.m. Sean hits me back and I told him I was calling him because I’m writing about him. He asked, “You’re calling me for comments?” “You’re writing a blog post about me…what are you talking about?” Then, he told me this:


“Bro I just shot you a link of King Salmon singing.” He said he’s singing about how life’s all fucked up. Bro it’s really good. I don’t get him bro. He sends me a hook. He gives me no context. Does he want me to make a song? Make a hook? I don’t know. I don’t get it.”

This is why Ol’ Blue Eyes is my best friend. HERE IS A LINK TO KING SALMON'S NEW HIT SINGLE "FUCK THIS BULLSHIT DAY." Hit the audio player on his page.


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